TRAGEDY STRIKES – ANDREW BOLT ‘ALMOST CLOSE TO DEATH’ AFTER ABC INTERVIEW SUGGESTS HE COULD BE ‘A BIT RACIST’
Australia mourns as the nation’s favourite liberal-baiter Andrew Bolt is reportedly ‘close to death’ after it was suggested he might be ‘a bit racist’ in an ABC radio interview.
Mr. Bolt was so traumatised by the comment that he was forced to take to bed where he barely managed to bang out 14 Twitter posts before news of his impending demise hit the blogoverse.
Supporters have blamed the ABC for Bolt’s not-quite-but-almost-fatal collapse. “In such instances we like to blame the ABC. Hell! We blame the ABC for everything else why not blame them for Bolt too?” a Bolt insider commented.
Even with the Grim Reaper at his side, Mr. Bolt continues blogging heroically, warning his constituents about the dangers of refugees and public school education.
The ABC have issued an almost-apology for the slight inference in the quip about Bolt’s somewhat-racist views.
The Murdoch family are said to be pressing for Mr. Bolts immediate almost-canonisation.
-Tim White, for The Centre for Almost Ideas